The 50/50 Conversation

This topic has come up the past few weeks in my prenatal class and I felt like it is big enough that it needed an entire blog post dedicated to it. I had a mama to be come in really hot and heavy with frustration towards her partner because at 30-ish weeks pregnant she was already feeling like the majority of the planning and pre-labor work was on her and she was starting to resent her hubby. It only took a few minutes for everyone else in the class to chime in and validate that it has been their experience too and that she wasn't alone in her feelings.

Let me start off by stating that I have a very supportive and kind husband. He is very aware of my needs and how hard my job is as mama. However, I do believe that even though it is the intention of MANY in 2023, to shy away from those old-fashioned and typical gender roles the majority of the work and mental load falls on the female for a reasons.

Several factors contribute to this division of parenting labor:

1. Historical gender roles: Traditional gender roles have long dictated that women are primarily responsible for nurturing and caring for children. These roles have been ingrained in many societies and have influenced societal norms and expectations.
2. Maternal instincts and socialization: Women may feel a strong connection and attachment to their children due to biological and hormonal factors, as well as socialization that emphasizes nurturing and caregiving.
3. Workplace and societal pressures: Women often face societal and workplace pressures that make it challenging to balance parenting and career responsibilities. These pressures may result in women taking on more of the parenting workload to accommodate these demands.
4. Parental leave policies: In some countries, parental leave policies primarily focus on maternity leave, providing mothers with extended time off work after childbirth. This can reinforce the notion that mothers should be the primary caregivers.
5. Physiological and biological changes to a woman's brain after giving birth. There are massive hormonal shifts that happens during pregnancy and in the postpartum period those hormones drop off which leaves an imprint on her brain chemistry.

It is important to remember to as for what you need because the parenthood transition is massive for your partner as well and they don't know what they don't know!